Author: Nicky Bates

It is said that January is the most difficult month of the year for some people. Is it fact or fiction read on to make up your own mind!

So the tree, the twinkling lights and Christmas decorations are down. The lounge looks sparse, and unwanted Christmas presents sit in neat piles in the corner of the room. We have returned to work, and the weather outside is dark and gloomy. The wallet and credit card have taken a massive hammering at the not so discounted sales, and whilst the embers of Christmases past stay lingering in your mind, is it any wonder that January is deemed the hardest month of the year!

Fact- January is the second month of winter gaining between 90 seconds and two minutes of daylight each day.

Fact-January’s reputation as a month of endings and beginnings has carried on throughout history. The fact that we have 365 days to write a new chapter can only be a good thing!

Fiction-Blue Monday is the name given to the third week in January claiming it to be the most depressing day of the year. The concept was first publicised as part of a 2005 press release from holiday company Sky Travel, which claimed to have calculated the date using an equation.

However depression suffers will know it is not that simple! A statement on Mind’s websites says: “Here at Mind, we think it’s dangerously misleading.

“Those of us who live with depression know that those feelings aren’t dictated by the date.

“Implying that they are perpetuates the myth that depression is just ‘feeling a bit down’, something that doesn’t need to be taken seriously.”

Fiction- New year new me! Wrong same you different perspectives maybe? We all do it… this is the year that I will loose weight, save for my dream holiday, be dry for January, join the gym. Why does it have to be just January why can we not have dreams and aspirations all year round!

SAD Seasonal Affective Disorder

Is this really a thing? Do people suffer from lack of daylight hours? Where did it even stem from?

Fact- Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is a type of depression that comes and goes in a seasonal pattern. SAD is sometimes known as “winter depression” because the symptoms are usually more apparent and more severe during the winter.

The exact cause of SAD isn’t fully understood, but it’s often linked to reduced exposure to sunlight during the shorter autumn and winter days. The main theory is that a lack of sunlight might stop a part of the brain called the hypothalamus working properly, which may affect the:

• production of melatonin – melatonin is a hormone that makes you feel sleepy; in people with SAD, the body may produce it in higher than normal levels
• production of serotonin – serotonin is a hormone that affects your mood, appetite and sleep; a lack of sunlight may lead to lower serotonin levels, which is linked to feelings of depression
• body’s internal clock (circadian rhythm) – your body uses sunlight to time various important functions, such as when you wake up, so lower light levels during the winter may disrupt your body clock and lead to symptoms of SAD

How to beat the blues anytime of year!

It’s time to crawl out from under the duvet and try these tips to keep the momentum going and, for possibly the first time ever, beat the blues at anytime of the year!

Diet

Take more vitamin D Studies are constantly reiterating the mood-boosting benefits of this vital vitamin. However, as our skin largely manufactures vitamin D through exposure to sunlight, it’s also regularly highlighted that, during the dark winter months, we probably aren’t getting our recommended daily dose. Plus, along with improving your mood, topping up on vitamin D can help strengthen the immune system and keep bones and teeth healthy.

Cautious on the comfort eating front, the stodge, the left over Christmas goodies. There are several reasons we sometimes resort to food for comfort, particularly at this time of year. An exaggerated craving for carbohydrates in winter can actually be a sign of SAD. Overeating in winter may also simply be due to the fact that we’re indoors more and we’re cold! Eating a well balanced diet all year round should alleviate your desire to scoff in the winter!

Exercise

Keep moving…the novelty of your new gym regime is probably wearing off by now. Exercise releases the happy hormone serotonin and, as well as being important for health, regular exercise will boost the positive results of all your healthy eating efforts – so keep going! It is also a great way to reduce stress. If your workout is feeling more chore than choice, make sure you’re giving your body everything it needs to perform at its best. Exercise all year round not just in the summer months!

Sleep

More sleep, with partying season long behind you its now time to replenish those sleep stores! Sleep plays a vital role in good health and well-being throughout your life. Getting enough quality sleep at the right times can help protect your mental health, physical health, quality of life, and safety.

The way you feel while you’re awake depends in part on what happens while you’re sleeping. During sleep, your body is working to support healthy brain function and maintain your physical health. In children and teens, sleep also helps support growth and development.

Sleep helps your brain work properly. While you’re sleeping, your brain is preparing for the next day. It’s forming new pathways to help you learn and remember information. Studies show that a good night’s sleep improves learning. Sleep also helps you pay attention, make decisions, and be creative.

Studies also show that sleep deficiency alters activity in some pathways of the brain. If you’re sleep deficient, you may have trouble making decisions, solving problems, controlling your emotions and behavior, and coping with change. Sleep deficiency also has been linked to depression, suicide, and risk-taking behaviour.

Connect with Nature

It has long been proven that connecting with nature has had many therapeutic benefits. Over at the TLC Counselling HUB being near the sea is our grin and tonic!

Nature is good for us. There’s plenty of evidence that exposure to nature is good for people’s health, well-being and happiness – with green spaces even promoting prosocial behaviours. Less is known about why nature is good for us. Simply put, nature is good for us because we are part of nature. We are human animals evolved to make sense of the natural world and this embeddedness in the natural world can often be forgotten and overlooked.

Mentally, we can become disconnected from nature because we’re now deeply embedded in a human-made world. Emerging research is showing that knowing and feeling this connection with nature is also good for us, and it helps bring about the wider health benefits of exposure to nature. Knowing your place in nature brings meaning and joy

(Dr Miles Richardson 2019).

Thanks for reading this article please let us know if you would like any topics covered in our blogs.

References

https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/howto/guide/keep-momentum-how-beat-january-blues-0

https://www.mind.org.uk/news-campaigns/news/busting-the-blue-monday-myth-with-blueanyday/

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/seasonal-affective-disorder-sad/

https://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health-topics/sleep-deprivation-and-deficiency

Why Our Connection With Nature Matters

We all get there to the tipping point

but it’s how far we let our minds go

It can happen in a super speedy moment

or overtime and generally very slow.

We can all get pushed and pulled

until we are broken beyond all doubt

but it’s what we do and how far we go

And how loud we are prepared to scream and shout.

Some people suffer in silence

so you never know their truth

others demonstrate unreasonably unkind behaviour

 and their destruction is their proof.

The fragility of the human mind

can snap in an instant for sure

Who are we to judge what each one suffers

unless it’s knocking at our very own door.

some people seek help and get better

some people seek no help for sure

in order for your mind to be free and at peace

Inwardly it’s always better to settle the score.

I am no expert in mental health

but I do know certain distractions

if you want to have a healthy mindset

you need to be prepared to put in certain self-help actions.

We all have darkness and terribly bad days

but tomorrow is always a new start

If only you could see the brilliance of you

it would hopefully mend your lost heart.

As humans it’s really very simple

we just need to love and be loved

there are no magical cures or potions

or even guidance from whatever’s above.

Next time you’re feeling dark and alone

with nothing else to ponder on or see

tell yourself this very simple sentence

I have time, I have now, so let me help me.

Ntb28-11-19

Russian Dolls Inside out…

It’s like peeling back the layers.

Revealing of the inner self.

Do we want to be on display

Or remain as one on the shelf.

It’s like stripping to the core,

Of the person we’d like to be,

Do we stay where we’re tolerated,

Or do we cut the strings and break free.

No matter how we are moulded,

There is one thing you can’t hide.

That although we are together,

We are all unique Inside.

So as you uncover each layer,

There really is no doubt,

That whilst it’s good to feel protected.

It’s even better to stand out.

Find your courage in your conviction,

Stand proud and be true,

And always strive to be

The best person inside of you..

NTB16

“Worrying is carrying tomorrow’s load with today’s strength- carrying two days at once. It is moving into tomorrow ahead of time. Worrying doesn’t empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength” (Corrie Ten Boom ).

Over at the TLC Counselling hub we are seeing an increasing number of clients with anxiety or anxiety based issues walking through our door.

So what is anxiety?

Anxiety is what we experience when we are troubled, tense or afraid particularly about things that are about to happen, or which we think could happen in the future. Things that we actually usually have no control over. Anxiety is a natural human response that recognises when we are under threat. It can be experienced through our thoughts, feelings and physical sensations. Also known as the flight fight response.

Signs and symptoms

The list is not prescriptive and not to be used as a diagnostic tool. Common signs and symptoms present as:

Effects on your body

• a feeling of being completely overwhelmed
• churning feeling in your stomach
• feeling light-headed or dizzy
• pins and needles
• feeling restless or unable to sit still
• headaches, backache or other aches and pains
• faster breathing
• a fast or irregular heartbeat
• sweating or hot flushes
• problems sleeping
• nausea
• lack-increase of appetite
• changes in your sex drive
• having panic attacks.

Effects on your mind

• rumination – thinking over and over about the same thing, until it is all you can think about.
• depersonalisation – feeling disconnected from your mind or body, or like you’re watching someone else
• worrying a lot about things that might happen in the future –
• feeling tense, nervous or unable to relax
• having a sense of dread, or fearing the worst, taking thoughts to the worst case scenario.
• feeling like the world is speeding up or slowing down
• feeling like other people can see you’re anxious and are looking at you
• feeling like you can’t stop worrying, or that bad things will happen if you stop worrying
• worrying about anxiety itself, for example worrying about when panic attacks might happen
• wanting lots of reassurance from other people or worrying that people are angry or upset with you
• worrying that you’re losing touch with reality

What Causes Anxiety?

No one knows exactly what causes anxiety problems, but there are probably lots of factors involved.

• unresolved past or childhood experiences
• stress
• your current life situation
• physical and mental health problems
• drugs and medication

Research shows that having a close relative with anxiety problems increases your chances of experiencing anxiety problems yourself. Currently there is not enough evidence to show whether genetic factors make us more prone to developing anxiety, or because we learn patterns of behaviour from our parents and other family members as develop.

Self-help useful resources

A self-help resource might be the first treatment option your doctor offers you. This is because it’s available quite quickly, and there’s a chance it could help you to feel better without needing to try other options.

Self-help could be delivered through:

• Workbooks. For example, your GP might recommend particular titles from a scheme called Reading Well Books on Prescription. This scheme is supported by most local libraries, so you can go and check the books out for free – you don’t actually need a prescription from a doctor. (Find out more on the Reading Well website).
• A computer-based CBT programme for treating anxiety and panic attacks. There are several app-based CBT courses recommended on the NHS apps library, which you can search to find an app that may work for you. 

Talking Therapies & Relaxation Techniques

If self-help resources aren’t likely to help with the anxiety problems you’re experiencing, or you’ve already tried them and they haven’t helped, your doctor should offer you a talking treatment. There are three types of treatments recommended for anxiety.

• Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) – this focuses on how your thoughts, beliefs and attitudes affect your feelings and behaviour, and teaches you coping skills for dealing with different problems.
• Counselling with a qualified counsellor who will listen without judgement about your anxiety issues. Sometimes just saying it out loud will be beneficial. Over at the TLC Counselling Hub we use creative therapy to try to find out the root cause of your anxiety.
• Mindfulness – Mindfulness is the psychological process of purposely bringing one’s attention to experiences occurring in the present moment without judgment, which one can develop through the practice of meditation, relaxation. Mindfulness is derived from Buddhist traditions.

“Anxiety’s like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you very far” (Jodi Picoult).

Thanks for taking time to read our latest blog please leave comments if you would like to see other issues covered. The TLC Hub 2019.

References

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/anxiety-and-panic-attacks/#.XalJP_ZFzIU

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/anxiety

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mindfulness

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Over at the TLC Counselling Hub we recognise the importance of self care. In light of World Mental Health Day on October 10th 2019, now has never been a better time to look after yourself and your metal health. We find colour and regular walks by the sea are the Hub’s grin and tonic!

We realise how important self care is and why we need to make it a priority in our life. Self care is vital for our mental, emotional, and physical well being. It aides to help maintaining a healthy relationship with yourself and helps to boost confidence and self esteem. Self care also promotes positive feelings and can aid in awareness of self, others and the environment.

What is mental health?

‘Mental health is defined not just in terms of the absence of mental disorder, but is a state of wellbeing in which every individual realises his or her own potential, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to her or his community’ (WHO 2014).

Who is affected by mental health?

In many ways, mental health is just like physical health: everybody has it and we need to take care of it. Mental health problems affect around one in four people in any given year. They range from common problems, such as OCD, depression, anxiety, loss, trauma to rarer problems such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.

What are the early warning signs?

Changes in mood and attitude can provide the first signs that all is not well. Mood swings and social withdrawal may indicate some degree of emotional distress. Any of the following, might provide an indication that something is not right for the individual and they could be experiencing some degree of mental health difficulty. It is important to view this list in terms of a collection of signs rather than as a diagnostic tool.

• Low mood
• Erratic or unpredictable behaviour
• Agitation or overt anxiety
• Social withdrawal/avoidance of social interactions or contact
• Reduced attendance work/school/college
• Sleep or appetite disturbance
• Poor concentration and or motivation
• Unexplained prolonged crying

So how can I look after my mental health?

The Mental Health Foundation offer these 10 suggestions for better mental health:

• Keep active
• Eat well
• Drink sensibly
• Keep in touch
• Ask for help
• Take a break
• Do something you are good at
• Accept who you are Care for others

References

https://www.imperial.ac.uk/counselling/mental-health-guidelines/definition/

https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/publications/how-to-mental-health

https://www.bing.com/search?q=world+health+definition+on+mental+health&FORM=EDGNCT&PC=HCTS&refig=fe2328a64d1b4e1cf52a279539d28ae3&DAF1=1

This poem was thought to have been given as a speech by Charlie Chaplin on his 70th birthday.

Over at he TLC Hub we love this poem as it is very much in keeping with the Gestalt way of being and very much in the moment!

As I began to love myself 
I found that anguish and emotional suffering 
are only warning signs that I was living 
against my own truth. 
Today, I know, this is Authenticity.

As I began to love myself 
I understood how much it can offend somebody 
if I try to force my desires on this person, 
even though I knew the time was not right 
and the person was not ready for it, 
and even though this person was me. 
Today I call this Respect.

As I began to love myself 
I stopped craving for a different life, 
and I could see that everything 
that surrounded me 
was inviting me to grow. 
Today I call this Maturity.

As I began to love myself 
I understood that at any circumstance, 
I am in the right place at the right time, 
and everything happens at the exactly right moment. 
So I could be calm. 
Today I call this Self-Confidence.

As I began to love myself 
I quit stealing my own time, 
and I stopped designing huge projects 
for the future. 
Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, 
things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, 
and I do them in my own way 
and in my own rhythm. 
Today I call this Simplicity.

As I began to love myself 
I freed myself of anything 
that is no good for my health – 
food, people, things, situations, 
and everything that drew me down 
and away from myself. 
At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism. 
Today I know it is Love of Oneself.

As I began to love myself 
I quit trying to always be right, 
and ever since 
I was wrong less of the time. 
Today I discovered that is Modesty.

As I began to love myself 
I refused to go on living in the past 
and worrying about the future. 
Now, I only live for the moment, 
where everything is happening. 
Today I live each day, 
day by day, 
and I call it Fulfillment.

As I began to love myself 
I recognized 
that my mind can disturb me 
and it can make me sick. 
But as I connected it to my heart, 
my mind became a valuable ally. 
Today I call this connection Wisdom of the Heart.

We no longer need to fear arguments, 
confrontations or any kind of problems 
with ourselves or others. 
Even stars collide, 
and out of their crashing, new worlds are born. 
Today I know: This is Life!

The actual author is a re-translation (from Portuguese-BR) of a text from the book “When I Loved Myself Enough” by Kim & Alison McMillen (2001).

As Albert Einstein once said, “To stimulate creativity, one must develop the childlike inclination for play.” So, what exactly is the link between childhood and creativity?

Creativity and Play and Fostering Creativity

Creativity is the freest form of self-expression. There is nothing more satisfying and fulfilling for children than to be able to express themselves openly and without fear of judgment. The ability to be creative, to create something from personal feelings and experiences, can reflect and nurture children’s emotional health and mental well being.

The experiences children have during their first years of life can significantly enhance the development of their creativity. Unfortunately in today’s society we want to wrap our children up in cotton wool. They need to spend more time getting messy. We have created a germ phobic society. To be honest there are probably more germs on their mobile phones, than their paint brush if they even own one!

Importance of the Creative Process
All children need to be truly creative is the freedom to commit themselves completely to the effort and make whatever activity they are doing their own. What’s important in any creative act is the process of self-expression. Creative experiences can help children express and cope with their feelings.

A child’s creative activity can help teachers to learn more about what the child may be thinking or feeling. Creativity also fosters mental growth in children by providing opportunities for trying out new ideas, and new ways of thinking and problem-solving. Creative activities help acknowledge and celebrate children’s uniqueness and diversity

The Benefits of Creativity for all

Freedom: There is no right or wrong way to be creative. When we create, it gives us the opportunity to engage with the world without judging ourselves. To return to the feeling of freedom we may have experienced during childhood. Where we did not have to know or be an expert. It gives us permission to take risks, try new things, and strip away inhibitions in a healthy way.

Self-awareness and Expression: Creativity is the route to authenticity. As we create we begin to access our thoughts, feelings and beliefs. When we take the time and energy to develop our own ideas, we learn to understand, trust and respect our inner self, (inner child), in turn enabling us to better express ourselves. You may be surprised at the resources, thoughts and impulses that you discover there.

Faith and confidence in our instincts: When we create, we may start to value our work, even if it is not published, displayed or presented to the public. We can learn to trust our instincts and gain confidence from expressing them. This confidence carries over into decisions we make in other areas of life.

Stress Relief: Being creative is meditative. Taking the time to use our hands, minds, and energy doing something we enjoy and that makes us happy is of highest importance in life. Creativity is fun, and doing anything that brings joy reduces our stress levels and improves our quality of life.

Problem solving: There isn’t a manual to being an artist, Monet didn’t follow a script, and there isn’t a manual for being alive. Obstacles and challenges throughout life are inevitable they are part of the journey. However, when we make creativity a habit, we continue to learn new, resourceful ways of solving problems in our artwork, and in our personal life.

And Finally

“Creativity is a celebration of one’s grandeur, one’s sense of making anything possible.” ~ Joseph C Zinker

Creativity in Gestalt therapy means venturing beyond self-expression and entering the dynamics of the productive interchange within the therapeutic relationship. Gestalt therapy uses creative mediums to help the person make sense of who they are in the world. No matter how old we are creativity is a form of self-expression of feelings and experiences.

The inner child never really leaves us, so go grab that paint, or those beads, or that glitter, sand or mud and create something unique and beautiful today!

NTB 19

References

Amabile, 1 (1989). Growing up creative: Nurturing a lifetime of creativity. New York: Crown.

Bergen, D. (Ed.). (1988). Play as a medium for learning and development: A handbook of theory and practice. Portsmouth, NH: Heinemann.

Chenfeld, M. B. (1983). Creative activities for young children. (2nd ed.) New York: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich.

Church, E. B., & Miller, K. (1990). Learning through play: Blocks: A practical guide for teaching young children. New York: Scholastic.

https://lifelabs.psychologies.co.uk/users/8838-nicola-vanlint/posts/4292-the-positive-benefits-of-creativity

http://www.gisc.orgwww.gisc.org/gestaltreview/documents/ArtandCreativityinGestaltTherapy-Amendt-Lyon.pdf

https://www.azquotes.com/author/68078-Joseph_C_Zinker

Over at the TLC Counselling Hub we love a bit of colour. Is it any wonder why we are very drawn to Plutchik’s 1980 Wheel of Emotions.

Walking around with a mind full of confusion and uncertainty can make anyone feel sad or overwhelmed. This is especially true of individuals who want to understand themselves or a stressful situation, but don’t know where to start. With a wheel of emotions, the individual can view the various emotions and pinpoint the specific ones they’re experiencing in the moment. This fits very well with our Gestalt theory, in that is predominantly about awareness.

Emotions influence our health, performance, well-being, motivation, sense of fulfillment, and decision-making skills. It’s important to understand and manage them. When people don’t understand their current emotion, they may panic as their internal locus of control leaves them in disillusionment. When our emotions are triggered, they are done so to elicit one of our basic survival behaviors. This happens on a subconscious level, i.e out of our awareness.

Psychologist Robert Plutchik states that there are 8 basic emotions: joy, trust, fear, surprise, sadness, anticipation, anger, and disgust. Plutchik’s wheel of emotions illustrates these 8 basic emotions and the various ways they relate to one another, including which ones are opposites and which ones can easily turn into another one. This framework helps bring clarity to emotions, which can sometimes feel mysterious and overwhelming.

Opposites: Each primary emotion has a polar opposite, so that:

• Joy is the opposite of sadness.
• Fear is the opposite of anger.
• Anticipation is the opposite of surprise.
• Disgust is the opposite of trust.

Combinations: The emotions with no color represent an emotion that is a mix of the 2 primary emotions. For example, anticipation and joy combine to be optimism. Joy and trust combine to be love. Emotions are often complex, and being able to recognize when a feeling is actually a combination of two or more distinct feelings is a helpful skill. 

Intensity:  The cone’s vertical dimension represents intensity – emotions intensify as they move from the outside to the center of the wheel, which is also indicated by the color: The darker the shade, the more intense the emotion. For example, anger at its least level of intensity is annoyance. At its highest level of intensity, anger becomes rage. Or, a feeling of boredom can intensify to loathing if left unchecked, which is dark purple.

Being attuned with what one is feeling (and therefore doing) can be very empowering. Instead of trying to suppress, reject, or ignore emotions, people learn how to express and share them in a constructive way, as well as analyse the role they play in one’s life.

Gaining awareness in this area can give clients a chance to align themselves with the things they want, the outcomes that interest them, and the emotional states that help them work towards their goals despite imminent challenges. Being in awareness can bring about great change for individuals.

References

https://positivepsychology.com/emotion-wheel/ https://www.6seconds.org/2017/04/27/plutchiks-model-of-emotions/

Over at the TLC Counselling Hub we are very excited today, as today we welcome our very first client through the door. These keys were given as a gift by a very thoughtful kind friend who has supported my journey from start to finish for the last seven years. Seven years of hard work, seven years of continued friendship, and seven being her lucky number. The Hub dedicate this rainbow poem to you.