It is called Humankind for a reason!

Be a nice human is it really too much to ask!

Really though, it seems today’s society is anything but kind! Following the recent tragic death of TV personality Caroline Flack on the 15th of February 2020, the TLC Hub would like to dedicate this blog to her and to all the other people who have committed suicide or are contemplating suicide.

Her Instagram post of the 5th of November ‘in a world where you can be anything be kind’ is now being used as a slogan on a t-shirt produced by fashion company In The Style. The t-shirt made 100k in the first day of launch and all the proceeds were donated to the Samaritans As a counsellor this fills my heart with joy in supporting mental health, but for Caroline, and for the millions of other people, it has sadly come far to late!

We were writing this back in 2018!

The Director of the TLC Hub uploaded the above Instagram post back in October 2018. Sadly 2 years on nothing has changed with suicide statics ever increasing. The Samaritans report that suicide figures in the UK in 2018, were 6,507 deaths by suicide (a rate of 11.2 deaths per 100,000 people). Overall, men accounted for three-quarters of UK deaths by suicide. The Statistics sadly highlights deaths by suicide are on an increase and rose by 10.9% in the UK in 2018.

So why is it so important to be kind?

All human beings to be considered collectively.
  • Firstly and most importantly everyone on this planet matters. No matter of your race, ethnicity or background. This is known as humankind!
  • Everyone has a right to their own opinions, and the choices they choose to make.
  • Kindness is a quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate.
  • Being kind often requires courage and strength and is an interpersonal skill.
  • Devoting resources to others, rather than having more and more for yourself, brings about lasting well-being.
  • Kindness is a willingness to full-heartedly celebrate someone else’s successes and tell them so!
  • Kindness is also about telling the truth in a gentle way when doing so is helpful to the other person.
  • Kindness includes being kind to yourself, giving yourself the time and space you need for self-care. In order to look after others we must be kind to ourselves first.
  • it can help you make positive connection to others
  • Kindness can accelerate the healing process.
  • Kindness is an act of giving without the act of receiving.
  • It can boost someone’s self esteem, and someone’s self worth. Demonstrating the first point that everyone matters!

Kindness could create like a domino effect!

Have you heard of the term the domino effect? This can best be described as, a chain reaction that has a cumulative effect produced when one event sets off a of similar events. The term is best known as a mechanical effect and is used as an analogy to a falling row of dominoes. It typically refers to a linked sequence of events where the time between successive events is relatively small. It can be used literally (an observed series of actual collisions) or metaphorically (causal linkages within systems such as global politics, society fads also known as the ripple effect). The term domino effect is used both to imply that an event is inevitable or highly likely (as it has already started to happen). You could offer that Caroline’s unprecedented t-shirt sell out has created a domino effect. Sadly though, she will never actually know how much she was truly loved by our KIND nation and our KIND hearts!

The colourful rainbow domino effect!
Thanks to In the Style for making a stance on mental heath! Hopefully more precious lives can be saved!!

Useful links if you or someone you know is suicidal!

Talk to someone you trust

Let family or friends know what’s going on for you. They may be able to offer support and help keep you safe. There’s no right or wrong way to talk about suicidal feelings – starting the conversation is what’s important.

Who else you can talk to

If you find it difficult to talk to someone you know, you could:

  • call your GP – ask for an emergency appointment
  • call 111 out of hours – they will help you find the support and help you need
  • contact your mental health crisis team – if you have one

Samaritans Tel Number 116 123


Calm (Campaign Against living Miserably) Helpline for men.

Tel Number 0800 58 58 58

Papyrus– for people under 35

Tel Number 0800 068 41 41

Childline for young people under 19

Tel Number 0800 1111


What the Counsellor Cannot Possibly See!

These beautiful flowers omit an invisible light that the human eye can not see!

This stunning picture was taking at night using a special UV camera to demonstrate what light flowers emit that are not visible to the naked eye. This got me thinking about humans and what is not seen by the counsellor during the sessions.

What the Counsellor does not see is the client’s thoughts, the client’s fears or the depth of their presenting issue. The counsellor cannot possibly see the client’s vulnerability. You cannot see the courage it takes for the client to just sit there and not bolt right out of the door! We cannot see their anxiety, stress or the whirling thought processes. We cannot see OCD, depression or bi-polar.

As a counsellor we cannot possibly see the weight the client has been dragging around with them from their past into their here and now. Which could ultimately ruin their future. We cannot see the complicated layers they have built in the unconscious, often unavailable parts of their minds. We cannot see the trauma they have encountered or the pain they may have endured.

Amazing to think what actually we cannot see!

We cannot see their attachment style or how they bonded to an early care giver. We cannot see what love means to them, or how they possibly do or do not absorb it. We cannot see the often anxious fragility of their minds, or the terror that sits behind their eyes! We cannot see the loneliness that invades their core being.

What I see in my Gestalt capacity, is a person sat in front of me who is waiting to be seen!

TLC Hub 2020